Inner Battle

inner battle

I have an ongoing inner battle. It’s been going on for a long time. At least several years, if not the entire time I’ve been a blogger.

I always want my blog to be different. Interesting. More in depth. Have a point, a story, an opinion, a heart, a brain. Feel inspired, relatable, and aspirational all at the same time. I want it to stand out and be something you always want to read.

I want people to have opinions, although I hope they are educated opinions while still being open-minded to learning more and understanding all sides and open to changing their opinion upon new thoughts/evidence/facts. I want to have constructive conversation that is respectful, thought-out. Not just reactionary and emotional without thought.

I’ve been going through the results from the survey I did in September to do a big general post about it and came across this quote from a reader.

“I really enjoy reading your essay-like posts, i.e. when you respond to specific events that evoke different reactions (one that comes to mind is your view on the word #girlboss, or when you saw Tory Burch), or write about specific topics (period headaches, your personal goals and achievements). I would like to maybe see some more content related to current events. It always seems like you’re more in the know about current events given your location, and I would be curious to see more meaty (controversial) op-eds. Your attitude comes through in a lot of posts that are stereotypically considered more “floofy,” and your blog is a really great balance of intellectually and academically stimulating content (like book lists and reviews and entrepreneurship articles). It’s got all the pretty icing, but still packs meat (which I would love to see more of, presented in that beautiful visual way you do with apt photography).”

This is my my current inner battle. Writing about more controversial topics, typically in current events. There have been a few posts that I’ve wanted to write but haven’t. And there’s one specifically right now that’s eating at me. The timing is important. It’s a do it soon or don’t do it type of thing.

My point to writing these type of op-eds or controversial topics would have nothing to do with SEO (although that would be a welcome side effect). And I wouldn’t want you all to think that I was only writing about things for those reasons. If I was doing things solely for SEO I’d have a much bigger readership than I do now!

I think what’s held me back from writing these types of posts is backlash or hate from readers and losing a lot of readers and dealing with it (losing some is OK, I can’t cater to everyone). Somehow I’ve been able to have only a few mean comments in over 9 years. I hope that’s due to the way that I approach topics and my writing style. But I don’t want to let the negativity enter my life, I don’t have time for hateful shit.

Having been a blogger for over 9 years, I have a pretty thick skin at this point. I know that I can’t please everyone. Not everyone is going to like me. Not everyone is going to like what I write, what I think, my style, etc. And that’s OK. Because the world would be really boring if everyone was the same.

I say all of that because I think that a lot of my personal opinions are probably not in the majority (or maybe you all will surprise me?), and I know that that is what holds me back. While I know I can write about things respectfully, I’m just a little apprehensive to go there. People have A LOT of opinions about these topics, and I know they wouldn’t be scared to lash out in the comments. However, I don’t think you all are the lash out type.

The thing is — I’d love to raise the topics up for discussion, but emotional lashing out is something I’m not OK with. A calm statement of opinions backed by reasons or experiences — great. But I’m not cool with anything mean or hateful and I would delete any comments that I deem so. Not in attempt to censor, but only because I will not have my blog be a place for trolls and hateful people — there are plenty of websites people can go to for that. So any well-written, non-hateful, not mean opinion comments — even that I don’t personally agree with — I would of course publish. I think we can all agree to disagree while being respectful, right?

So I say all of this because I’d love to hear your thoughts. Do you agree with the commenter above? Do you want me to talk about these things? If so, any topics you’d like to see me write about?

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Photo via Unsplash by Mario Azzi