This past weekend I was in a wedding of one of my best friends (on the beach), and one of my other best friends was in the wedding as well. Both of these gals live in Kansas City and I miss them mucho. During one conversation we were talking about relationships — of course — and it came up how I don’t hold grudges. Like, at all. My BFF was telling me how she was impressed by this and she doesn’t know how I do it.
I don’t actually remember ever being the type of person that holds a grudge. There are a few people in my life that have done horrible things (to me and to others that I love) and I just chose not to speak/interact to them for a while, but in almost every case I completely let things go almost immediately. To me, it’s just not worth holding onto. Isn’t life hard enough as it is?
Basically, I just don’t think that being mad about something or at someone (in most cases) is worth staying mad about once the situation has been resolved. And I like to resolve things rather quickly. Honestly, I just don’t like to waste my time and energy on feeling/being mad and holding a grudge.
It’s really just a mindset you can put yourself into. Once the situation has been addressed — cool down first, then address it calmly — maybe run that email you furiously typed up past a friend who will tell you the truth before you hit send. But one key to letting things go is actually addressing the situation. And that doesn’t always mean by addressing the person. Sometimes you need to think about it, and look right back at yourself — is this your issue? Not theirs? In some cases it is. If you start off an email or a text with “I just need to get something off my chest” then most likely you need to think a little longer about that situation because in every case I’ve dealt with, the person needed to look back at themselves for the answer to their problem.
Communication is also a common problem — so make sure that you communicate calmly about whatever the situation is.
I think part of the reason I am like this is because I’ve dealt with a lot of death from a young age, and also the experience of my husband being in a an almost lethal car accident several years ago. Those things put life into major perspective for me. Life is so fragile and short, so I try to live each day with joy and not anger.
So, if you want to live a little happier, not hold grudges, and not spend your precious time being mad — you can adopt my “art of letting things go” by thinking about the situation, addressing it if necessary, communicating calmly, and then truly letting it go. Trust me — I feel light and airy. Not much gets to me, and if it does, not for very long. Sometimes even just writing down how I’m feeling about it either on paper or just typing it up to myself can help me gain perspective on the situation and how I feel about it and help direct me in how to handle it.
Do you let things go or do you hold on to grudges and stay angry? How do you resolve the situation?
Photo above from my trip to the Bahamas. Talk about relaxing…