I’ve made a few mindset shifts in the past few years that have really made a huge impact on my life. You might think that they sound little selfish, but whose life are you living? You need to live your life — cause you only get one!
These mindset shifts can help you prioritize yourself and your goals and ultimately CHANGE YOUR LIFE!
1 // STOP CARING SO MUCH
Another way to say this is, give zero fucks. I’ve always been like this a little bit, but I definitely think my husband’s personality has rubbed off on me over the past 14 years. Basically I want you to stop caring what people think about you. What’s important is what you think about you. What you want. Not what other people think. Who gives a shit, you do you.
If this is something that is really hard for you then you need to ask yourself, why do I care about this/that? Be honest with yourself and what the answer is.
One thing that helped me get over caring about stupid shit is if I suspect it’s something I’m wasting my time caring about I think — would my husband care about this? That always helps me put it into perspective. Now, don’t get me wrong, there are many many ways my husband and I are different and we don’t always think the same, and how he thinks is not how I should or do think. BUT he’s very good putting things into a larger perspective.
2 // SCHEDULE EVERYTHING AROUND YOUR GOALS
Think about a goal of yours. Got it in your head? I’m going to use the example of my own personal goal of working out 5x a week. Now I want you to literally write or type this goal into your daily calendar and plan around it like it’s the post important meeting of your day. Make it something in your life that is a non-negotiable. Friends want to go to happy hour? Oh sorry, you have a meeting…with yourself…at the gym (or doing your goal). Of course you can be flexible with it, and move it to the morning, or your lunch break if something important comes up but don’t be too flexible.
As an example if I know I have an event one evening, or I have plans to have dinner with friends, I will either get my workout in over lunch, or I will take the day off. I usually need to take one day off every 3-4 days for muscle recovery anyway, so I just schedule my workouts around the day where there’s something else I want to go to. BUT be strict and only flexible with important things. Which leads me to my next tip…
3 // MAKE PEOPLE PLAN AROUND YOU
I have this friend who used to really annoy me. Now, I respect the crap out of her. I mean I always respected her, but our friend group would always have to plan around her schedule. She always had stuff going on that didn’t seem that important to us, but they were important to her — plans with other friends, book club, workout class, you name it.
At the time I thought it was annoying. Now, I totally get it, and I’ve adopted her mindset. She prioritized herself. Working out was a priority for her, and she made other people plan around it. I now realize how genius that is.
You don’t have to tell people why you are busy at certain times. You have something going on, you have plans, you have a meeting, whatever — they don’t have to know what! That what is really important to you and you need to protect it!
4 // SAY NO
When I first moved to DC I went to tons of events. I was trying to meet people as I knew practically no one when I moved here. Now I rarely go to events. I say no to almost everything. Why? Because I have a lot of other shit I’d rather spend my time doing.
A few years ago I decided that if an event didn’t support one of my personal or business goals, then it wasn’t worth my time. That goal could just be being a supportive friend, and attending an event because my friend is helping with it, and that’s totally fine, or maybe I just feel social one night, so I attend an event, but usually I say no.
I also say no to a lot of “collaborations” that land in my inbox. Why? Many of them aren’t mutually beneficial — mainly they are only beneficial to the brand, and not to me or to you. I choose to only spend my time doing things that are mutually beneficial, because why wouldn’t I? Would you ever walk into your doctor’s office and expect them to do a procedure on your for free? What about your lawyer, do you think they should go to court for you for free? Would you ever go into work but not get paid for it? No. I don’t like to work for free either.
Basically — say no when you want to, and don’t feel bad about it. I don’t.
Hopefully these for tips can help you make changes in your life that get you where you want to be or help you reach your goals!
Have any other tips or a story about this? Tell me in the comments!
Shoot location: If you’ve never heard of Buttercream Bakeshop, well now you have. The owner, Tiffany, is a master of all things sweet. Above is her cinnascone. Highly recommend.
SHOP THIS LOOK
Side Slit Sweater Tank
Also comes in tan.
Photos by Laura Metzler